ShameLock blocks your worst apps and only lets you back in after a selfie. No button-tap willpower. Just you, your camera, and the quiet horror of your own face at 1am.
Everyone else is quietly winning at focus. You're not.
Somewhere out there, people are hitting inbox zero, closing rings, and putting their phones face-down without a struggle. They call it "digital minimalism." You call it Tuesday, except your screen time says otherwise. This is the curve everyone else is riding — and where you currently stand.
I don't want to be left behind →Don't worry. Getting from "here" to "there" mostly just requires a phone that judges you a little. We built one.
Three features. Zero mercy.
Time is money. Turns out your thumb has been spending both.
Confession ledger
The headline number
$189,113
If you cut your doomscrolling and invested the time you'd have earned instead, you'd have $189,113 in 10 years. That's $52,238 more than just stuffing it under a mattress.
This is obviously a simplified model — we're not your financial advisor, we're just trying to make you feel something.
Even history's greatest villains needed a break from screens.
These reviews are fake. Obviously. Darth Vader, Voldemort, Thanos, and Plankton did not actually use this app or provide testimonials. We just thought it was funny. Please don't sue us, Disney/Nickelodeon.
"I have crushed rebellions, choked admirals, and stared into the fires of Mustafar. Nothing prepared me for seeing my own face at 2am, still scrolling. ShameLock succeeded where the Emperor failed: it made me stop."
— Darth Vader
Dark Lord of the Sith
"I split my soul into seven pieces to avoid facing myself. Turns out all I needed was an app that makes me take a selfie every time I open Twitter. Wish I'd had this before the Horcruxes — would've saved a lot of trouble."
— Lord Voldemort
He Who Must Not Be Screen-Timed
"I snapped my fingers and erased half of all life to bring balance to the universe. ShameLock brought balance to my phone usage, which honestly took more discipline. Docking one star — the selfie camera caught my bad side."
— Thanos
Titan, Collector of Stones and Regret
"I have stolen the Krabby Patty formula 12,357 times. Getting caught by a single-pixel security camera was less humiliating than getting caught by my own front-facing camera. Docking two stars — I'm one inch tall and the selfie crop never fits my antennae."
— Sheldon J. Plankton
Chum Bucket, CEO & Sole Employee